Letter - Mama, I miss you

"It is said that music is the bridge between the earth and the heaven"
If it is really true, I hope my mama in heaven can listen to this song.

Mama thank you for who I am
Thank you for the things I am not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times
I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrified
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed
along the way

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry I took all this time to see
That I'm where I am because of your truth
I miss you, I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong
Dry your eyes

Mama I hope this make you smile
I hope you are happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed
Along the way
And I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

- Il Divo -

Dear mom,

Perhaps, you have been gone for quite a while
A little over 8 years by now
but you are always on my mind all these times
I miss you, Mom ..

There are times when I really want to share with you
There were many words unsaid that would show
of how much i care for you
of how much i love you
I did not said all those
because I did not want to make you worry
because I did not want to add anymore burden to you
I know that you wiill keep all your worries to yourself
I know that you will keep all the problems to yourself
and let yourself suffer alone for others
I kept smiling though my heart was aching
I kept telling you that everything would be okay
upon hearing the test results
upon hearing your worries
upon hearing your dreams
You said that I was still too small
too small to understand
of what might happen to you one day
You might not know how much I love you ..

I know you have sacrificed so much for me
(in fact not just for me but for us)
you faced this world and reality of life bravely
despite your illness
despite all your pains
of all those chemo after effects
that piercing through everypart in your body
not just for one year, two years ..
but almost ten years
just to see me until i am ready
ready to face this world alone

I remembered of those times ..
those times when you shared your dreams with me
I know that you believe in me
You know that even though I might not be able
to fulfil your dream in your time
I'll fulfil it to someone you love
Someone you've shared your life with
I'll promise you that
even though I have to struggle to make that happen

Forgive me if I have made you cried silently
I will always remember of your tears
Tears of love that could not be replaced
with anything else in this world

All those things that I did was nothing but
to make you happy
to cherish you
to treasure those precious times that we had
If all I wanted was the happiness for myself,
I might not do what I have done
I only want to show my love to someone I love
when I still have the time
when I still have the chance
However, my feeling is not a matter anymore
It will not change anything
It will not change the reality of life

Mom, I promise I'll make you smile in heaven
I'll fulfill the promise I told you in my dream that night
I will be happy
I will be stronger
even though you are not with me anymore
I'll do you proud
so that I'll be proud when I meet you
when the time comes one day

- keep smiling -